Light Hearted

It’s that time of year again: the annual physical. For many of us, it’s less about feeling motivated to check our health and more about getting that sweet, sweet $1500 credit from the employer. Let’s face it—who wouldn’t want an extra boost to their bank account for simply showing up to a doctor’s office? But there’s a bit more to the story than just easy cash.

I went for my physical this week, and as usual, I had mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I know the value of these yearly check-ups. After all, prevention is better than cure, and spotting potential health issues early can save a lot of headaches (and dollars) down the road. On the other hand, there’s that nagging voice in my head, the one that groans every time the doctor says, “I’m going to write you up for a few tests.”

Because, here’s the catch: while your employer might throw a $1500 incentive your way, the doctor might just counter with a handful of tests that, if you’re not careful, could easily cost as much or more. It’s like trading cash for a series of pokes, prods, and potentially pricey lab work. Sure, you feel a little richer leaving the office, but then you fast-forward to the bloodwork.

Ah, the dreaded bloodwork. For some reason, the thought of not eating for 12 hours seems harder every year. Maybe it’s psychological. Or maybe it’s that post-50 metabolism starting to talk back. Either way, no food and no coffee before facing needles? That’s a cruel kind of torture. But the routine must go on, especially as we age.

And here’s where things get even more fun: vaccines. Tetanus shots, shingles vaccines, hepatitis boosters, COVID jabs, flu shots… the list seems never-ending! Every year, there’s another one to add to the ever-growing list of “preventative care.” You start to feel more like a pin cushion than a patient. But hey, I get it. I’d rather have a quick poke than end up miserable in the hospital.

Employers, of course, have a vested interest in keeping us healthy. When we’re sick, we’re not working, and if we’re not working, we’re not making them money. So it makes sense that they’re willing to shell out incentives for annual physicals. From their point of view, it’s a lot cheaper to pay for preventive care than to lose an employee for days or weeks due to illness.

But here’s the thing—shouldn’t there be more perks? Like, what about gym memberships? Some companies are on board with this already, offering employees free access to fitness centers as part of their wellness programs. And I think that’s a great idea! Why not incentivize health in every possible way? Physical health, mental health, gym memberships, yoga classes—let’s get the whole package! Maybe they could even throw in a smoothie once in a while. (Okay, maybe I’m dreaming.)

All jokes aside, taking care of ourselves is essential, and the older we get, the more important it becomes. Sure, the lure of that $1500 credit might be what gets us through the door, but in the end, the peace of mind that comes with knowing you’re in good health is worth far more than any financial bonus. Plus, I’d rather be at the doctor’s office getting checked out than in the ER facing something I could have prevented.

So, yes, while the tests may pile up and the vaccines seem never-ending, the alternative—a hospital visit or a serious illness—is much worse. And who knows? Maybe next year, they’ll start paying us for not getting sick at all. Hey, we can dream, right?

In the meantime, we’ll just have to make do with our physicals, our vaccines, and the occasional wince as we fast before the bloodwork. It’s a small price to pay for staying ahead of the game—and for keeping that extra bucks in the bank.

Here’s to staying healthy—and maybe a few more perks along the way!