The joys of winter in Michigan. One day, your car is buried under a foot of snow and ice, and the next, a “heat wave” of 34°F (1°C) rolls in, causing an entire population of car owners to emerge from their winter cocoons like confused bears.
This morning, I got a firsthand glimpse of this phenomenon. Vani, looking at her salt-crusted car, casually suggested, “Maybe get my car washed?” Translation: “Go now before I start dropping hints about how much I hate driving a car that looks like it just returned from the Ice Age.”
It was 8:00 AM. I had already planned a grocery run to Kroger, and since the car wash was nearby, I figured, “Why not?” Well, turns out, there was zero competition. Not a soul in sight. I was the only one crazy enough to get a car wash when the temperature was still 19°F (-7°C). It was eerily peaceful—like I had discovered some secret VIP car wash hours for early risers who don’t mind freezing their fingers off.
The machine sprayed water, which immediately turned into a thin layer of ice on my mirrors. Great. The car was clean, but now I had built-in ice sculptures. Still, I felt victorious. No wait time, fresh wash, and at $3.50 for 7 minutes, it was a steal.
When 34°F Turns into Car Wash Prime Time
Fast forward to the afternoon. The sun was out, and the heat wave had arrived! It was a balmy 34°F, and people were acting as if spring had officially begun. Suddenly, every single person who had ignored the salt and dirt for the last three months decided this was the exact moment to clean their cars.
I headed to a different car wash, expecting a quick rinse before heading home. Nope. I was met with a full-blown traffic jam. I swear, I saw cars lining up from every direction like they were converging for a music festival—except the only headliner here was the “Super Deluxe Wax & Rinse.”
This particular place had ten washing stations. Each station had three cars deep, and the automated wash line looked like it was hosting a parade. The vacuum section? It might as well have been a free parking lot.
It was a sight to behold. People were getting out of their cars, stretching, checking their phones, and probably wondering how their five-minute chore turned into a half-hour event. A guy in front of me was munching on a bag of chips like he was at a drive-in movie. Another dude got out and started chatting with his car wash neighbor—because why not bond over shared suffering?
“Crazy how everyone’s out today, huh?”
“Yeah, guess we all got the same text: ‘Congrats, your car is now legally required to be cleaned today!’”
I did a quick price check and noticed something sneaky. The morning rate of $3.50 for 7 minutes had now been adjusted to $3 for 5 minutes. Classic surge pricing. These car wash folks are no amateurs—they saw the rush and trimmed the wash time like a budget airline trims legroom.
The Winter Car Wash Dilemma
Now, here’s the funny thing about washing your car in the winter: It’s a temporary victory. You get it all nice and shiny, step back to admire your work, and then the moment you drive two blocks, BOOM—salt, slush, and road grime all over again. It’s like trying to keep a toddler’s hands clean at a birthday party.
In fact, some people argue that washing your car in winter is pointless because it’s going to get dirty again in a few days. But then, there are the counterarguments:
- If you don’t wash it, the salt eats away at the metal.
- If you wait too long, your car turns into a two-ton furball of ice and filth.
- If you drive a black car, it looks white. If you drive a white car, it looks brown. If you drive a silver car, well… it just looks dirty.
- If you park next to someone with a clean car, your self-esteem takes a hit.
So, do we wash our cars even when we know it won’t last? Of course. We Michiganders are nothing if not resilient. Plus, that first drive in a freshly washed car, even if it only lasts 10 minutes, feels amazing.
Final Thoughts
So, what did I learn today?
- If you want an empty car wash, show up when it’s painfully cold.
- If it’s barely above freezing, prepare for a stampede.
- Car washes, like airlines and coffee shops, know exactly when to tweak their pricing.
- And finally, a clean car—even in winter—is a small victory worth celebrating.
Until next time, stay warm and keep those cars moderately clean.
🚗❄️
Light Hearted 
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